Solo Travelling: 5 Thoughts On Going It Alone

As someone who went away for boarding school, left her country of birth and had stints in different places, I am no stranger to leaving the familiar. These things have often seemed par for the course when considered in the wider context of academic pursuits. Uproot my life to another place solo for school? Easy. Solo travelling for leisure? Dread.

Solo travelling can be all things at once. Uncomfortable. Freeing. Scary. Thrilling. Challenging. But there is much joy and growth on the other side of this discomfort zone.

These days I feel less dread and experience more excitement with every solo trip. This post is a breakdown of five thoughts on my solo travel journey.

1. Solo travelling: start local

How will I ever go far on my own if I can’t challenge myself with what’s nearby?

My first solo leisure trip was to Bath. I’ve joked before that it was “just up the road”, with a train time not much longer than my daily commute in London. And yet…and yet. I was apprehensive, and that’s the simple truth. Nevertheless, I plodded on. The mental gymnastics to psyche myself up for the trip is something that is not lost on me. Eventually, I noticed something; a shifting mindset that has since been so freeing for my travels.

I realised that my solo trip didn’t have to be in a long haul destination to be anymore significant. If you’re yet to embark on your first solo leisure trip and can relate to the above, my advice is to know your comfort level and start from there. You don’t have to travel far to find yourself.

There are a number of factors at play when it comes to choosing your solo travel destination, including safety, ease of travel, cost and abundance of activities. Of course, these are considerations all travellers share, but they become particularly relevant when venturing away on your own. So, explore the places which can offer what you are after and stay open to possibilities – many of which are nearer than you think.

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2. When it comes to solo travelling, research and planning are good, but not always essential

Solo travel is about giving yourself over to a place in new ways. Sometimes that means seeing what happens when you let go.

I’ll be the first to admit: I’m no stranger to obsessively scouring the internet during my pre-trip planning phase. It’s all part of building up my anticipation for an upcoming trip. Or, calming my nerves, depending on what side of the fence I’m sitting on. As someone who has in the past struggled with self-consciousness, planning a tight schedule is how I keep a handle on potential anxieties in that regard. It is the weirdest spectrum of emotions to be the type of person who is given to spontaneity as much as she is a stickler for routine. Conflicting, much? Try (solo) travelling with it.

I’m learning to discard plans at the drop of a hat – or not make any at all to begin with. Gulp. Increasingly, I’m less concerned with plans to tick off “must-see sights” and more interested in going with the proverbial flow. What’s been on the other side of it, you ask? An unplanned driving adventure in Kefalonia that pushed the boundaries of my fears, and discovering Venice at leisure with no concrete plan, among others. I don’t necessarily recommend this, but it sure keeps solo travel interesting for me.

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3. Let a professional handle it

If DIY holiday planning is not your forte, or you simply want to entrust some of the logistics to someone else, consider delegating to a professional.

While the modern digital world has opened doors for do-it-yourself trip planning abilities, the option to have some logistics of your solo trip dealt with by professionals is ever present and more streamlined than ever. If need be, handle what you can and entrust other parts into capable hands. This takes the stress out of planning, leaving you time to get in the right mind frame to enjoy your trip. In Zadar, for instance, I asked my hostel to arrange return transfers to Plitvice Lakes National Park with a tour company. This offered greater convenience than navigating to a bus station by myself. Know the limits of your patience, ability, time and other variables so you don’t stress over every detail of your solo trip.

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4. Be open to genuine connections

Can I tell you something, woman to woman? I just got rid of the abusive dickhead I married. Quit my big job of 16 years. Now I’m a taxi driver and I bloody love it.

My taxi driver – York, England

When I hopped into Yvonne’s taxi on my solo trip to York, there was nothing to suggest it would be the most memorable thing about my day. However, minutes into a ride with pleasant small talk, she expelled her news in one breath. The atmosphere changed immediately from casual chitchat to a deeper connection. We talked, she cried, we laughed. It is easy to reinvent yourself with strangers, but in staying open while travelling, I have come to realise how much more unites us than separates us. I am pleased to have been in a position to offer “sweet catharsis”, as Yvonne put it.

In Bath, a decision to let go of a planned activity led to a serendipitous encounter with Jay, a Ugandan woman concerned about her daughter’s desire to take a gap year from university. These are moments I would have missed out on had I been in a rush to tick off the next thing without pausing to acknowledge the present time.

You’re not going to find serendipity – that Golden Ticket of solo travel – if you don’t give it the space to happen.

Sebastian Modak, New York Times 52 Places Traveller

What am I saying? Solo travel lets me tap into connections in ways I otherwise wouldn’t if I were in a group situation. They spark conversations and moments that stay with me long after I have left. To travel solo is to allow yourself to embrace people and places in ways beyond the ordinary.

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5. You. Are. Enough.

There is no reward for warming myself with the heat of other people’s passion. It’s a big world out there, and I’m curious to see it – with or without others in tow.

I am growing in the practice of not putting things off for “special occasions”. Some people prefer to “save” certain places to share with a significant other, especially if they are typically touted as perfect for couples, romance and so on. Each to their own.

Travel offers enriching experiences whatever season you’re in, whether you’re single, partnered, a parent or group travelling. My view is that if it is worth seeing, doing or experiencing, I want to see, do and experience it, if possible – and I’m happy to partake in it solo or otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t downplay the feeling of missing someone or wishing they were there to share a moment with you. However, that doesn’t stop me. Ultimately, I choose to not hover by the side, longingly watching others live out their travel dreams while denying myself opportunities to experience my own. Learning to go out there solo is the greatest gift I’ve given to myself in recent years. I am enough. You are enough.

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Final Thoughts

The incredible discoveries that have come with solo travelling is something I can’t put a price on. The probing, pruning and peeling of layer after layer to discover a new version of self with every trip has been a beautiful experience. It’s like going on a long journey only to wind up on your own doorstep. I have found much joy and growth on the other side of the discomfort zone.

Travelling is a school, and I was born hungry to learn.

Clara

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Over to you, dear reader – have you travelled solo before? What are some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way? If you haven’t taken a solo leisure trip yet, is it something you’d want to experience? Share your thoughts with me in the comments. Until the next WoW.

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